How not to say the wrong thing

https://www.latimes.com/nation/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407-story.html

The "Ring Theory" by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman provides a guideline for offering support in a crisis: "comfort in, dump out." Visualize concentric circles with the person in crisis at the center, surrounded by progressively distant relationships. Comfort should always be directed inward toward those closer to the crisis, while personal frustrations should be expressed outward to those in more distant circles. This ensures that support flows to those who need it most without adding emotional burden to them.